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Humor ~ Creative Definitions
Creative Definitions
The following is from the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Source Unknown
The following is from the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Source Unknown
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AFFIRMATIONS
As I welcome love, so love welcomes me.
I have complete faith that my wealth is coming.
I choose to set aside all fears, doubts and worries.
I am a magnificent being with an abundance of love to give.
I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, harmonious and happy.
I always maintain a perfectly healthy body and mind.
I now ease myself into a more diverse experience of receiving money.
I now imagine how good it feels to find money in odd and random places.
My job, work, career is a channel thru which money may come but it is not the source.
I am receiving from the universe through many interesting and diverse channels, money that supports my desires.
I let go easily, trusting that nothing leaves my life unless something better is coming.
In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I intend $1,000,000 to come into my life and into the lives of everyone who holds this intention.
I am open to receiving all that is mine by divine right, now flowing my way quickly, under grace and in miraculous ways. I look with wonder at all of my abundance!
I am an eternal spiritual being having an abundant and prosperous human experience.
I choose to feel good, attracting into my life the manifestation of my desires.
All doors now open for happy surprises and the Divine Plan of my life is speeded up under grace.
I now attract to me quality, motivated people who make a positive decision to join me in my business endeavor immediately today.
Money is energy and it is here to serve me. Having money allows me to serve others. I attract and magnetize to me all that I require and all that I desire under grace and in a perfect way.
I only remember how money has ever worked for me.
I am thankful for the wealth and abundance we are able to create together for our mutual good.
I deny debt. There is no debt in divine mind, therefore, I owe no man anything. All obligations are now wiped out under grace and in a miraculous way.
I give and receive love freely and generously as I am blessed with meaningful, lifelong relationships and cherished memories that bring me joy in happy times and strength and peace in difficult times.
I practice gratitude which lifts and inspires me as I recognize and appreciate all that empowers me to find and express true joy.
There is no fear in me. Prosperity is mine. God provides lavishly for me and all of humanity.
I bless my checkbook and each check I write. I give thanks that the money going out is now coming back into my bank account tenfold. I give thanks that my bank account is filling up rapidly with money.
I am thankful for the abundance and prosperity in all aspects of my life as I easily manifest all that I desire.
I love all lessons that I am given and I am grateful for my experiences.
I intend that everything needing to be known is known here today; that all of my words are clear, precise, uplifting, helpful, and fun; that each and everyone of us here is guided, guarded, and protected throughout this entire experience; and that everything we say and do here today serves the highest and best good of the Universe, ourselves, and everyone everywhere. So be it and so it is!
I AM OPEN TO RECEIVING.
I have complete faith that my wealth is coming.
I choose to set aside all fears, doubts and worries.
I am a magnificent being with an abundance of love to give.
I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, harmonious and happy.
I always maintain a perfectly healthy body and mind.
I now ease myself into a more diverse experience of receiving money.
I now imagine how good it feels to find money in odd and random places.
My job, work, career is a channel thru which money may come but it is not the source.
I am receiving from the universe through many interesting and diverse channels, money that supports my desires.
I let go easily, trusting that nothing leaves my life unless something better is coming.
In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I intend $1,000,000 to come into my life and into the lives of everyone who holds this intention.
I am open to receiving all that is mine by divine right, now flowing my way quickly, under grace and in miraculous ways. I look with wonder at all of my abundance!
I am an eternal spiritual being having an abundant and prosperous human experience.
I choose to feel good, attracting into my life the manifestation of my desires.
All doors now open for happy surprises and the Divine Plan of my life is speeded up under grace.
I now attract to me quality, motivated people who make a positive decision to join me in my business endeavor immediately today.
Money is energy and it is here to serve me. Having money allows me to serve others. I attract and magnetize to me all that I require and all that I desire under grace and in a perfect way.
I only remember how money has ever worked for me.
I am thankful for the wealth and abundance we are able to create together for our mutual good.
I deny debt. There is no debt in divine mind, therefore, I owe no man anything. All obligations are now wiped out under grace and in a miraculous way.
I give and receive love freely and generously as I am blessed with meaningful, lifelong relationships and cherished memories that bring me joy in happy times and strength and peace in difficult times.
I practice gratitude which lifts and inspires me as I recognize and appreciate all that empowers me to find and express true joy.
There is no fear in me. Prosperity is mine. God provides lavishly for me and all of humanity.
I bless my checkbook and each check I write. I give thanks that the money going out is now coming back into my bank account tenfold. I give thanks that my bank account is filling up rapidly with money.
I am thankful for the abundance and prosperity in all aspects of my life as I easily manifest all that I desire.
I love all lessons that I am given and I am grateful for my experiences.
I intend that everything needing to be known is known here today; that all of my words are clear, precise, uplifting, helpful, and fun; that each and everyone of us here is guided, guarded, and protected throughout this entire experience; and that everything we say and do here today serves the highest and best good of the Universe, ourselves, and everyone everywhere. So be it and so it is!
I AM OPEN TO RECEIVING.
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